By Vicki L W Graff
PROMPT — I will not rest until ...
how many times do we curl our hair
when we'd rather leave it straight?
how many times do we shave our hair
when we'd rather let it grow?
how many times do we wear high heels
that throw us off balance,
strain our backs,
cramp our toes, and
deform our feet,
when we'd rather wear barefoot sandals?
how many times do we wear tight pants
that cut off circulation,
causing varicose veins
and vaginal infections,
when we'd rather just be comfortable?
to please men, we do these things
to compete with other women
to please men
we do these things to our bodies
how many times do we say yes
when we want to say no?
how many times do we stick around
when we want to just go?
how many times do we say no,
and no, and once again no,
only to find ourselves, once again
flat on our backs,
opening our legs
to some stranger
or customer
or husband
or lover
or boss,
when we'd rather choose our own time,
our own place?
to please men, we do these things
to survive, to eat, to stay
alive
we do these things to our bodies
how many times do we take pills
that disrupt our hormones
and give us headaches,
nausea, sore breasts,
liver tumors, or blood clots
or insert devices in our bodies
that may cause infections
or perforate the womb
or cut off the sensations
and destroy the spontaneity
of our love?
or insert foams, jellies, and creams
(which are unreliable)
or count the days and take our
temperatures and
keep our charts
(which are unreliable)
or count on a man to cover himself
with condoms
(which are unreliable)
or submit to the physical and
psychological trauma
of abortion
all to prevent the conception
and birth of a child
we may or may not want
but certainly cannot afford
at such times in our lives?
to please men, we do these things
to give them 'free love,'
unencumbered by the burdens
of paternity
unencumbered by the
responsibility
for contraception
unencumbered by the risks
to health and safety and life
that we suffer,
whether pregnant or not
to please men,
we do these things to our bodies
and how many times, in spite of
or because of
all of the above,
do we suffer and conceive,
suffer and give birth,
suffer and nurture and
raise children
that we really do not want?
how many times do we stay home
when we'd rather be working?
how many times do we work,
underpaid, in jobs that are
undervalued precisely
because we do them
when we deserve to be rewarded
equally?
how many times do we listen
when we'd rather speak, or speak
when we want to shout?
how many times do we watch
when we'd rather act, or act
when we want to strike?
how many times do we smile
when we want to scream?
to please men, we do these things
to survive, to eat, to stay
alive
we do these things to ourselves
we have counted the times
and they are too many
to please ourselves, we change
to discover ourselves, we change
to reclaim ourselves, we change
to become ourselves, we change
to live, rather than just survive,
we change ourselves
and change our world
to change our world,
we do these things
we choose to curl, to straighten, or not
we choose to shave or keep what we've got
we choose what we wear, how we look
by wish or by whim
but to please ourselves, and not
to please men
we choose to say no, to get up and go,
and not to give in
we choose our own lovers,
we choose our own friends,
we choose to love women,
we choose for ourselves, and not
to please men
we choose doctors and therapists
who share our concern
for dangerous drugs and devices
who share our commitment
to safer methods, healthy
alternatives, and lower prices
we choose to have children
that are wanted,
when we want them,
not when they happen to come
we choose not to have children
knowing that the choice
does not diminish us as women
we choose to work at jobs
that are valued, that make
demands on our skills, and
to expand our skills
we choose to invade the male
preserve
demanding the pay
demanding the privileges
and the positions
demanding the rights
and the recognitions
we deserve
we choose when to listen
and when to speak,
when to act bold,
when to be meek
we accept our happiness,
we smile, laugh, and dream
we accept our anger,
we know when to scream
we rejoin our mothers, our sisters,
our daughters,
joining hands to fight the
despair
of women in bondage everywhere
we do these things for ourselves,
and not to please men.
Vicki L W Graff is an experienced communications manager, editor, writer, and creative director with expertise in internal and external communications, publishing, marketing, advertising, public relations, events, corporate identity, financial and program management, strategic planning, teaching, and training. She has special expertise in health science, nutrition and education. Vicki is highly experienced in print, audio-visual and digital media and an expert in a wide range of computer programs, word processing systems, desktop, and web publishing formats. She writes from Columbus, OH.