By Connor Orrico
PROMPT—Who am I today?
I sit in my room
and think
and feel
and am.
In front of me
are study materials
I cannot reach,
a Haitian flag
I have forsaken,
a calendar of racial injustice
I cannot turn, stuck in
endless moments
of a six-year depression,
a lifelong insomnia.
To the right of me
are shelves of literature
("an archive of longings",
I think Susan Sontag said)
I have read towards no
impact on the world:
How To Survive A Plague
by David France;
Getting Wrecked
by Kimberly Sue;
Infections and Inequalities
by Paul Farmer.
Behind me
is my bed,
womb of despair,
tomb of decumbiture.
To the left of me
is the world map,
my college banner,
and encouraging quotes,
parts of global health
pursuits which my paralysis
of will only watches sunder.
Inside me
passion does not pale
but love is not enough.
Purpose became pain;
I am surrounded by ghosts.
Connor Orrico is a medical student and amateur field recordist interested in global health, mental health, and how we make meaning from the stories of person and place we share with each other, themes which are explored through his words in Headline Poetry & Press and his sounds at Bivouac Recording.