Charcoal and Paper

By Riis Porter

PROMPT — Who am I today?

A friend had sent a drawing to me.

She sketched a single daisy out of charcoal

And shaded black the rest of the paper.

She had such a clear vision in mind.

My thoughts, on the other hand, are much less defined,

Like the ashy gray clouds above me, they are shapeless.

The rain drops come down and are shapeless

Once they fall onto me.

Seeping into my sweater, they aren’t as defined

As they used to be. The pavement black like charcoal

Catches the sound of rain. I make up my mind

To write it on paper.

I grab a piece of blank white paper.

The images I try to describe are shapeless.

Where is my vision? I must shatter my mind

To find the true image of me.

I glance at the white daisy of charcoal

Under my yellow bedside lamp. It is defined.

Black and white, right and wrong are all defined.

But what about the gray smudges on paper

From dark strokes of charcoal

That were rubbed till they became shapeless?

It occurred to me

That perhaps I had a gray vision in mind.

So how can I sharpen the visions in my mind?

How can I make the raindrops defined?

The person in the mirror, is that really me?

I grab another sheet of paper

To draw anything, however shapeless.

At least this time there’s strokes of charcoal.

The slate of white contrasting with charcoal

As I channel my thoughts freely from my mind

To my hand. It starts off shapeless

But coarse strokes together soon become defined

On the smooth blank sheet of paper.

I glance again under my bedside lamp—-could it be me?

There, in the void of charcoal, I see me.

A daisy I am. I’m drawing my mind onto blank white paper,

Not shapeless or smudged, but defined.

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Riis Porter originally began journaling when he was in middle school. He found a passion to write down his thoughts and feelings as he continued to write more and more in high school. After all, she was a teenage girl juggling family, friends, school, and work—There were so many meaningful things to write about. Soon, Riis discovered her way into poetry, which begame a huge part of her self-expression, aside from journaling. Now in college, she keeps writing with the hope of opening up new perspectives for others about self-discovery and self-love. Riis writes from Santa Clara, California.