I am my mother’s daughter

By Kacy Fallon

PROMPT — Who am I today?

I am my mother’s daughter.

I am a motherless daughter.

I am my daughter’s mother.

I am mother

and woman,

teacher

and writer,

wife

and voter.

I am laughing

before I am crying.

I am laughing

much more than crying.

I am crying

but only in hollow bathrooms,

swallowing my screams,

suffocating early dreams.

I am my mother’s daughter

today when the mail arrives:

Jeep offers, credit cards closed two years ago,

Kohl’s catalogues and sales on capris.

I am a motherless daughter

every day

these days.

I read her journals

when she was my

age-34, the world ahead-

I am only in the journals twice

so I read them again

and I read them again.

I am searching

I am clawing

I am crawling,

scratching at the worn

kitchen tile of our first home

trying to get back,

trying to remember before,

before I was this motherless daughter.

I am here,

but I am not here at all.

What I mean is,

I am here:

I am nursing the son my mother will never know

I am my daughter’s mother

I am mommy

mama

mother.

I am a mother.

But I am a daughter too.

I can’t escape either.

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Kacy Fallon is a mom, proud military wife, writer, and educator. Her work has appeared in PANK Magazine, Euphony, 50-Word Stories, Ghost Town, and Boston Poetry Magazine, among others. Kacy is an adjunct professor of English at Endicott College in Beverly, MA, where she previously served as the Director of the Writing Center. In particular, Kacy loves teaching creative writing. She currently lives in Florida.