FUGUE (funeral free-write)

By Avery Volk

PROMPT—No one noticed ...

My hunger and the absence of it not feeling my body at all not having a stomach you can do this you can wake up and go to his funeral I promise but no one understands no one can understand because they weren’t there they aren’t me they loved him but not like I did I want to stop pause time rewind start over why didn’t I say something why didn’t I know more than I knew or have someone to show me the history the writing on the wall that I was not close enough to read we had to let him make the choice but we wanted him to make a different one am I going to look crazy if I kiss his urn is anyone looking at me we have no pictures together they’re just going to see everyone else he loved no one here is going to miss me do they know I was the last lover you kissed this is so fucking strange I should have been asked to help make the playlist but my hands don’t work right now anyway I love you you fucking idiot can you take a look around and see what a grandiose wreck you’ve made I wonder if things finally look beautiful to you from where you’re standing I burned off the most sinister parts of my scorn this morning at sunrise to be here I am radiating heat in a cold room full of shadows.

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Avery Volk is an actor, singer, writer, and poet from Phoenix, AZ. After spending many years in the Arizona theatre scene, she discovered a deeper passion and a higher calling when she began writing and performing poetry and, a short time later, discovered the vast world and limitless art form of solo theatre. Through Avery's art, her aim is to connect and inspire her fellow artists, to challenge the status quo, and to take up space without apology. To play. To be loud, defiant, and lean into the discomfort of the raw, honesty, and vulnerability of baring one’s soul upon the stage and the page.